Monday, December 29, 2008

I think I need a nap

My Head Hurts.
Hurts so bad my vision is a little blurry.
So blurry, I can't see really bright colors.

Bright colors are making my head hurt more.

I'm thirsty, I wish I could drink my water straight from the sink.
I can't though, so it must be Brita filtered.
Water bottles are expensive, and I can't be bothered to pour my filtered water and put it in the fridge so it's cold.

So I do the only logical thing, drink Milk from the gallon.
Or I grab a pop, cause it's so easy and fast and just right there.

I hate pop.
It gives me Migraines if I drink to much.

I don't know what to make for Dinner.
Cereal?
Ramen Noodles?

I don't know, I can't be bothered with these thoughts, my head hurts too much.

Have I got a story for you

First off, I hope everyone had a wonderful, warm Christmas!
I had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit, you just can't smile when things fall apart...

Okay, now take lunch and enjoy my story. Oh and before I start, I would like to say that the following event is true. I can't make this stuff up.

Monday December 22, 2008
I had a Chiropractor appointment much like I do every Monday.
So I head in to town for my appointment. Things are good and I'm in and out. I dash to the grocery store to get a couple things.
Now I'm heading out of town, enjoying a bagel on my way to work.
Then Bam it happens, out of now where, I mean I didn't see it coming.
What, WHAT? you ask.
Well my friends I hit a deer. (Hey we live in MT it happens)
To be exact I hit a buck, a mule deer buck.
I was in the middle of town when I hit the SOB deer.
I wasn't driving fast, obviously because the SOB deer, ran off. There was no blood, no broken bones. The only piece of the SOB deer I had were 6 strands of hair/ fur.
Oh but don't forget my parting gift.
Broken grill guard
Broken Head light
Dented Fender
The list goes on. In fact it goes on so far my cost to fix my truck (which by the way is still a baby she's only 3 months old) is 3200.00 dollars.
Thank GOD I have insurance.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.
After I hit the SOB deer, I'm in shock, I can't believe it. Is this really happening?
I pull onto some street in town, and blindly pull into some parking lot that isn't marked. Hey maybe I'll get robbed too.
I get out and assess the damage.
Kindly the lady behind me who was witness to everything got out as well to ask if I was okay.
That's when I start to cry. I say I'm fine, this sucks and some other choice words. Thank the lady and off she goes. (I don't even ask her name, birthday, licence plate, ideal date, nothing.)

I do what anyone would do.
I call my Husband, he doesn't answer.
I call my Mom and cry. The only thing I was thinking is "What else can happen?" This is a bad nightmare, I've had nothing but bad luck for 3 months now....
"I don't have the money for this!" "I just bought this truck, just bought the insurance"
"Mom, what do I do?" "Mom, why does this keep happening?"
My Mom asks me, "Where are you?"
I say, "I don't know, in town somewhere"

She told me to call the Sheriff so I can report it so I can then turn it into my insurance.
I call the Sheriff and give them horrible directions to where I am. "Um, I'm by the vet across the street from the tractor store"
Needless to say, she wanted to laugh at me, I know she did. But nicely asked if there were any signs around me. There was thankfully. So she was sending someone on their way.

I sit in this parking lot for half an hour, it starts to snow. I just got a hold of Ryan when the Sheriff pulled up.
I get all my info and into his van we go to do paperwork!
That is all finished, I ask him what I should do. He said go to the shop and get it checked out!
So I call Ryan back, fill him in. And he said he will come get me. In the mean time, I call my insurance and give them all the info re: my SOB deer parting gift. (Stupid deer, I wish I could run him over again, I guaran damn tee he would not RUN away and there would be blood lots of blood) ANYWAYS
1 hour later Ryan gets there. The roads suck, it's cold and I feel like life is out to get me.... no seriously.
On the way to the body shop I pass a cop car, what does the cop car do? He rubber necks my truck and flips a U-y. HA, great!

So I get pulled over.
He asks if I'm aware of my Headlight. Me.... uh YEAH. I hit a deer this morning, about oh an hour ago and I'm on my way to the body shop.
Oh really? Licence and registration please.

Sure why not. Do you want my finger prints too, maybe a DNA test.
I'm still thinking "Anything else we can fit into today?"

So he checks things out and weirdly my story pans out. He apologizes about the damages and sends me on my way.

Finally we get to the shop. They look at my truck, take pictures and give me the estimate.

3200.00 dollars.
WHAT? I didn't even kill the deer. I want to, but I didn't.
I thought Ryan would fall over from heart failure.
Thankfully I have insurance, thank you GOD.

The insurance approved the estimate, and sent a check. I just have to pay the deductible.
Tomorrow hopefully I will be able to go pick up my truck. Hopefully it's like new again.
My next investment will be a grill guard with spikes sticking out the front so anything dares to run in front of me again, it'll practically be suicide by impalement!
I can laugh now, but then I was so upset and mad and Mad and upset.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Oh Man

So if you know me well, you know that I'm not connected to the wonderful world of Internet at home.
So this post is coming to you from work.
If you read my post yesterday, you know this isn't good.

If you didn't read it, I wanted today off so I could run some errands.
The fact that I'm here is poopy, I was denied my day off.

Oh well that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.
At least I will get more of the green on pay day.
I hate money.
But I love it.
But I hate it so much.
But still I love it.
No, no I hate it.

It can't buy you happiness but if you don't have a lot of it, you are often stressed out and unhappy. It's a cycle, a really bad cycle.
Just thinking about it is tiring. Makes me want to pack my bags and run away.
There is one good thing about today.... all you 8-5 er's M-F say it with me. Thank God it's Friday!

What are your plans for the weekend?
I was going to go grocery shopping today so I could make Christmas Cookies and 25 different types of Molasses Cookies all weekend, for 2 days straight....
But my plans have changed. (I really hate when that happens)

Now I don't know what I'm doing. I feel lost, confused, wondering if I can ever get back on track, hopeless.

Okay okay, I'll stop being so dramatic, it's not really in my genetic makeup.... I don't think anyways. (DON'T ANSWER THAT)
Well one thing is for sure, I'll be enjoying lots of hot chocolate. Why? Cause the weather outside is really frightful! Hey... isn't that a song?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Fruit loops

I'm cranky today.
And there is now way around it.

Have you ever just been fed up with it.
It = everything

work
money
food
cooking
pets
work
work

Yeah I'm there.

I'm going to take tomorrow off, cause I need too. I have other crap I need to do and I can't get it done because I'm always at work.
I can't do it Saturday because I have a basketball tournament.
Besides the banks aren't open on Saturday's... Why?
Well some banks are, but most aren't. That is stupid.

I'm hungry too. Anyone have any cereal?
When I'm really hungry I always crave Fruit Loops and I usually HATE fruit loops.
Why do I do that?

Um so when do I get off for Christmas? The 23rd? Yep sounds good to me! I wonder if I will get a Christmas bonus? Probably not, but it would be nice.

Can you tell I'm cranky?

It's not my fault I'm hungry.

Hungry people really can't be held responsible for what they do or say.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Christmas Time = Baking & weight gain!

Forgive me for yesterday. Will you please? If it was you in my spot I'm sure you would have complained about your darn tire too.

I got the tired fixed and all is right once again.
Now back to the regular scheduled programing.
But I don't really have a schedule... oh nevermind.

Molasses, Moalazzes, Muhlesses
You ever do that with a word? Oh, I know you do don't lie.

Anyways, the other day I was having a craving for something sweet and well I went overboard.

I made chocolate chip cookies and rice crispie treats. Crispy, Crispee, Chrispee.
They were delish, wanna know how I know. They were gone the next day. Ryan had a healthy breakfast of coffee and rise chrispee treats!

The chocolate chip cookies didn't stand a chance either.

Now, I'm on a mission to try out 3 different Molasses cookies recipes. Yes 3.
It's okay Molasses is okay in moderation right? RIGHT?
Well I will report back to you and let you know how it goes.
Also once I get the family recipe from my Mom I will be making the best sugar cookies EVA. NO SERIOUSLY they are awesome. They could save the world.

Sadly I won't share that recipe, it's a family secret. So that means I will make them and rub it in your face at how wonderful they are.
Then you'll laugh and call me fat cause I've been eating too many treats.
Then I'll go home and cry and eat some more.
Then I go to counseling and be miserable.
And it will all be your fault for laughing at me and calling me fat.
All over sugar cookies.

See I told you they are powerful.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What gives?

Seriously? This is not happening!

First off I'm freezing, my office is a... are you ready for this? We are a whopping 41 degrees in here.
Then to top it off, when I got to work I heard that amazing hissing sound from my tire. Yep you guessed it, I have a gaping hole in my tire and it's rapidly going flat.

COOL.

But wait folks, that's not all.
There is no one here, so little ol' me is outside looking at my damn tire. Staring at it willing it to just fix it's self.
Then because my day can't get any worse, it starts to snow....

My fingers? What are those? Are those the deadly white things that I'm jabbing at the key board right now? But I couldn't really tell you cause I lost feeling in them about an hour ago. I'm hoping they'll just fall off and new ones will grow back.

I'm pissed about my tire.
I'm pissed about being cold AGAIN.
I'm pissed about my tire, did I already say that? Well I'm really mad so I can say it twice.

I'm pissed I had to spend more money that I really don't have to fix a tire on a truck that I just bought. I mean seriously this is like some sick joke from hell. The past several months have by definition sucked. And now I'm pissed about it.

Merry Christmas folks, I'm putting my Santa hat away for today and I'm officially Scrooge if just for a day.

Friday, December 12, 2008

update quickie

The roast I made the other night was GOOD, took longer then I thought to cook. But it was good. I also made killer mashed potatoes and gravy to accompany it. I didn't want my roast, the beautiful roast to be lonely.

Wednesday night, I hit a dog ( I know my thought was... "Merry Christmas, and I ran over your dog. Okay gotta go!"). The dog had a really bad habit of chasing cars. I felt really bad, but fortunately I was driving really slow cause our road is really bumpy so all the dog suffered was a broken leg. The owner is getting the dog fixed. Hopefully his car chasing days are over cause he's a pretty expensive pup now.

Yesterday I had to take a buffalo to town. I looked really classy with a dead buffalo in the back of my truck. And the thing that cracked me up was my tail gate was down and the image people who were driving behind me was the dead buffalo's butt.... well actually a big hole, because it had been cleaned and gutted. So they saw the empty cavity of the belly and gaping hole where poop used to come out. (I laughed a lot at the faces I saw in my rear view mirror)

Last night I couldn't fall asleep. I don't know why though because I was tired, really tired. But finally around 1:00 sleep finally came.

This morning I was tired.

I'm still tired.

We are going to be sending out our Christmas cards soon. Hopefully by Monday.

I have a basketball tournament to coach on Sunday.

I need to water my chickens when I get home. (Yeah I have chickens, wanna make something of it??)

I'm going to try my hardest to make some cookies tonight. I've been wanting to try a new recipe all week.

Thank goodness it's Friday!!
Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Beans and Cornbread

So as I promised here is the wonderfully easy recipe of Beans and Cornbread from the wonderful website The Pioneer Woman. Go check it out, you'll never be the same!
I was surprised how easy it was to make this, and Ryan seemed to like it. I mean he at it all, cause Beans aren't really my thing due to my picky taste bud syndrome!

*disclaimer, I used my own corn bread recipe, cause I have a really good one that my neighbor gave me when I was in 4-H and I got a purple ribbon on it! So my recipe has been tried and tested and it's awesome!* Now back to the scheduled programming.

The much anticipated recipe.

Beans and Cornbread

Bean Ingredients:

4 cups Dried Pinto Beans
1 pkg Thick Sliced Bacon
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. pepper

P.W. Cornbread Ingredients:

1 cup Yellow Corn Meal
1/2 cup Flour
1 tsp. salt
1 cup Buttermilk
1/2 cup Milk
1 egg
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons Shortening


Beans:
Rinse beans in cold water with a strainer, be sure to pick out any foreign materials. Throw beans in a pot and cover with water by 2-3 inches. Slice your bacon into 1 inch pieces and add to the pot. Bring to a boil & then cover and reduce heat to a simmer for about 2 hours.
Season with salt and pepper. Make sure to taste this concoction and add seasoning as you please or don't please.

P.W. Cornbread:
In a bowl add:
Cornmeal, Flour and Salt. Stir together.
Next combine & add:
Buttermilk, egg and baking powder & soda. Stir together until frothy and add to the flour bowl.
Then melt the 1/4 cup of shortening in a microwave save dish & add to bowl, stirring constantly until combined.

Cover your pan with the 2 tablespoons of shortening and bake at 450 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

There you have it folks, a fast and easy way to satisfy any Men folk, or people who just like Beans and Cornbread in general.

Tonight I will try a different spin on a Roast, I'll report how it goes.

Thank you and goodnight.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Excuse me this is an inconvenience.

Have you ever felt that everything is such an Inconvenience.

Okay, okay I know that sounds bad. But hear me out.... well actually read me out.

Imagine you are tired, and it's such an inconvenience to roll over and hit snooze... 5 times.
When you have to eventually get out of bed, it's just so inconvenient to throw the covers off and roll out of bed.

Then you have to walk to the kitchen poor your coffee and be forced to hold the cup, can we say it together "inconvenience"

Maybe I just need to get some sleep.

It's not my fault though, the NFR is on, and they think that everyone stays up late.
They don't even show it on TV until 10:00 and it ends around midnight.

What an inconvenience huh?

Maybe I should write a letter, or just DVR it and watch it the night before. Sometimes I forget we have that little slice of technology heaven.

Well go forth and enjoy your day! And try not to be bothered by any inconveniences.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Right on Schedule

For once I have finished Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve.
(I'm usually the one who is getting last minute gifts at... well the last minute)

But I'm here to report that for once in my life I have finished ALL of my Christmas shopping long before Christmas Eve!

Of course now I'm broke, but that's another story for another time.

So here's to us Non-procrastinators! I do believe I will celebrate with wine tonight. (I hope that is what non-procrastinators do, I'm new to this club and I don't know the rules)

Friday, December 5, 2008

Please. Just Humor Me.

Okay seriously I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I'm sitting at my desk crying.I'm a loser and I need to find myself a life! But just read it and see if you can keep from laughing! Enjoy!

Dear Dawn,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our affair is over. I think I realized it When I quoted Forest Gump In your car and I saw you Sitting on The Montreal Canadians goalie. I'm sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That I may pee my pants. I'm returning Your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep The oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I Told in my confession today about the moose poaching and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.

You should get that embarrassing rash checked,
Christine



Pick a friend, any friend.
Answer the following questions and fill in the answers into the fun paragraph below.
Then repost it.Have fun!!

Dear _______,
I don't really know how to tell you this, ___1____. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ and ___11___.

_____12_____,




1.What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'm joining the Convent
Black - I dislike your eyelashes
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other - I'm in love with your cat


2.Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - Last year when you peed your pants
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on the little dog
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - When I quoted Forest Gump
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3.Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Christien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light


4.What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put whipped cream on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sitting on
Other - Drive over


5.What's the color of your underwear?
Green - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Black - Your My Little Pony collection
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - The Montreal Canadian's goalie
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner

6.What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C- Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Sly
Simpsons - cowardly
Grey's Anatomy - Scarred
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - Ashamed

7.Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Confused- That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That were related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Bored- That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumbass
Other - That your driving sucks

8.What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White -Your Back Street Boys blanket
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - Your Elton John poster
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from Vegas
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your toe ring
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your car

9.The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
C/D - The oil tank from your car
E/F - Your neighbor's dog
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of that blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your love letters
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your glass eye
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10.The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Mocked you constantly behind your back
E/F - Always wanted to break your legs
G/H - Hate your cooking
I/J - Never will forget that night
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z - Am better off without you

11.What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship is ruined
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Flavored water - I'm off to lead a new life as a nun
Soda - I will haunt you when I'm incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Wine -Thanks for the Cocaine
Cider - I have a passionate interest for men
Juice - I love Oprah Winfrey
Mineral water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Diet Soda - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Other - I'm scratching my ass as you read this

12.To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm tingly sensations
Italy - Best of luck on the sex-change
England - Kiss my ass
Spain - Go drown yourself
China - You make me sick
Germany - Go milk a cow
Japan - Please don't hurt me
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia -You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Egypt - Good luck in jail
France - With tears of sadness

Now, FILL IT IN ..

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I'm cold and hungry.

"Please sur may eh have anuthur?"
What movie is that off of?

So are you in the Christmas spirit? Are you done shopping? The lord knows I'm NOT!
I don't even have a tree yet! I will purchase on on Saturday, that is my vow, I think.

There are a couple new recipes I want to try out, and they are all for sweets and deserts!
Those are my favorite kind.

Oh, and I made stuffed pork chops with stuffing and broccoli and cauliflower! It was a good meal, and it deserved to be on the cover of some magazine. It was pretty to look at!

Have you ever made anything like that? It's too pretty you don't want to eat it?
One time, I made a pie for July 4th. This sucker was awesome! It was a mixed berry pie, but I separated all the berries into red and blue portions.

I made a flag, it was awesome. And I was so proud.
No one touched it. It sat on the counter, then the fridge and eventually grew mold. Then it was TOSSED! I was so mad. I never made anything like it again.

Now to the topic on hand, well at least at the top of my post.
I'm cold (it's a whopping 4 degrees out) and I'm hungry (my only meal will be dinner tonight. I never bring lunch and I don't get up early enough to eat breakfast)

I suck and the food chain hates me.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Moving along.

Have you ever thought to yourself "Is this all there is?"

I find myself thinking that sometimes. And I don't have an answer. I guess things would be different if I was thrown into a different situation, but then again you never know.

If you have thought this yourself. What would you do differently? What do you wish for?

For me, all I've ever wanted in life were two things. Two very very simple things, but for some reason that eludes me. Those two things are the hardest to achieve. What gives?

You know what would make me feel better? Something simple, like winning the lottery. Come on, that happens to people all the time right?? RIGHT?

Monday, December 1, 2008

Wiped Out!

Ugh, have you ever been mentally and physically exhausted? Yeah I'm there.

And the thought of Christmas shopping, decorating, baking doesn't help. Makes me want to hide under the covers.

I just can't seem to kick the feeling of being tired.