taxes why must you mock me

Have you ever watched The Lion King?
You know the part where the hyena's are all goofing off and the one hyena says "MUFASA" and the other's shudder in fright.
"MUFASA, MUFASA, MUFASA" shudder shhuuuddeer Shhhhhuuuuuuddddddeerrr.

That's how my body reacts when you say "Taxes"
I get goose bumps, I get a headache, and then I shudder.

I will always have this reaction, it will never ever change.

The problem I have with taxes is, the IRS made them so complicated no one can understand them. (And if you do understand them why in the world aren't you sharing your wealth of information with me???)
If you think something is wrong, who do you ask? Your parents, your husband?
Chances are they will be just as stumped as you.
I think the IRS does this on purpose.
"Hey lets create a system that makes no sense and just randomly change things and deduct more here and none there. Then at the end of the season when you have to file your taxes you will be forced to pay. You of course will know this is wrong or there is some mistake but can never hope to prove anything because they created a system that is bizarre, kooky, crooked and by definition blows.

Holy Crap, we need help.

Have you ever looked at your surroundings and decided right then and there....
"I need Help!"

Yeah, I'm there. I'm there everywhere.
Work. Home. Cow Doctor. "Help, Heeelllp"

Work.
I'm drowning in a sea of paperwork and mess. Being this unorganized is hard on a person.
I've tried, I seriously genuinely tried to get things in order and organized, but the mess sucks you in. Sucks you in and sucks you dry of your organizing attempts.

Home.
I think I need a maid, or wait. Wait. What if I taught my cats how to use the people potty. Like on that movie "Meet the Parents". It could be done right?
Now only if I could teach my dog to unload the dish washer and vacuum, I'd be all good.

Cow Doctor.
Oy. They suck the sleep right out of your life. Cows have personality, and no two cow's personalities are the same. You have the nice sweet cows, then you have the mean, "I want to eat your face off" cows. I don't like those ones.

On another note:
Outside is wonderful, the sun is shinning and it gives me hope. Hope that one day, I will dig myself out of my sea of paperwork and find the time to unload that darn dish washer.
There is also hope that I will finish painting that dang wall, good lord it will get done.

I wish I had time for fun things, for I would go on vacation and sip cocktails all day by the pool.
Ahh, yes that is what I'm meant to do in life. That is my true purpose, I just know it.
How in the world I ended up here among, paperwork, unloading the dishes, vacuuming, laundry, painting, Cow hoo haw's I'll never know.
Oh well, guess when life throws you lemon's you make lemon sorbet.... right? RIGHT???