My weekend.

Was Hard.

Packing up your life, let alone all the memories is hard.
Splitting everything you bought together is hard.

Wondering who will fill the spot in their heart, the space that used to be yours. That kills me.
Trying to be okay on the outside.
Trying to be strong, and smile.
Saying I will be okay, and trying to believe it.

All of that has slowly worn me down.
All I can do is push everything down.
Fight off the tears a little longer.

I have woken up to this person everyday for the last year and a half.
Tomorrow they will be gone.
Will I see him again?
Will he call me?

I don't have that spot in their heart.
I don't even have a home to go home to.
I had to give away all my pets.
I am truly alone.

I don't know how I will make it out of this.
Honestly I don't.
I don't want a divorce.
I don't want to be alone.

I'm going to take some time.
I want to curl up in a ball and cry.
I want to disappear.
I want this all to go away.

Before I break, I'm going to take today and feel.
Tomorrow I will think about trying again.
Tomorrow will be for work.
Tomorrow will be for being brave.