Here is to 2009

Well I'm back home, I'm back to work.
Being home was good and I suppose bad in some ways.

The good part was I got the much needed break from here.
I love it here, but not necessarily my situation here.
The other good part was I got to see my family and friends.


The bad part was everything was consumed by wedding planning and wedding thoughts.
I did good, better then I thought I would to be honest.
After the rehearsal dinner I had had enough and went out. I got so drunk, and then so so sick.
Was it worth it? Yes, I needed some kind of a release.
The annoying part was then dealing with family and wedding when I was hung over.
Sorry but you don't understand some things, and I wanted an escape.
My escape just happened to be in liquid form. If you don't like it, I don't care.

The wedding was nice, it really was.
I am glad I was able to be a part of it.
I was even nice during my speech.
I kept it short, sweet and funny.
Don't ask me what was really said during the ceremony, I zoned out. I had to just let the words go in one ear and out the other. This method worked well for me.
I hope they make things work, and I hope they are happy.

Another realization I had while being home.... I don't want to live there. Ever again.
Its nice to visit, but I prefer a much different crowd these days.
When I go to the bar, I want to hear good music. Not all hip hop.
I want to be able to dance, really dance. Not drunken rubbing on random people.
When I look at guys I want them to be rough, rugged and preferably a cowboy. Not this pretty pretty dude with clean hands, nicer clothes then me and a fake tan.

I can only handle that dumb crap for a certain amount of time.

My new years resolution is a couple things.
And these things are all for me.
1. To workout again... consistently. I want to feel good about myself again.
2. To be nice again, this one I'm afraid will take me a while, if I ever can be nice again.
3. To really and honestly let go. I've been holding on to him for way too long, and it's time to move on.
4. For now I want to spend the year single. I was never really alone, and I need to take the time to be okay with myself and to really work through all my feelings and let go.
I think this will help me move on.
5. The last and I think most important is to make MYSELF happy again.

So lets raise our glass to 2009. It's been a long, hard year and I'm so glad it's over.
Here is to a new start, a new life and a new beginning.
May our glasses and our hearts always be full.
Here is to the New Year.