Not what I expected.... but I'll take it!

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster.
The day before that was also an emotional roller coaster.

For one reason and one reason alone. Ryan.
do you see a pattern here?

Anyways....
Wednesday night he called me about a Verizon bill.
Did we talk? No
Did we fight? Yes
Is that normal? For us yes, which is why we do not belong together.
During said fight, he let slip he had a new girlfriend.
My response: "Whoa, that was fast?"
His: "Yeah, it was fast."
Me: "So are you two in LOOOOVE?"
Him: "Yeah, we are"
Me: "That is disgusting."
Him: "whatever."
Me: "So did you EVER really love me at all? I mean how can you replace someone that fast?"
Him: He said something, but I don't remember what. And this is my story!
Me: "Wow, way to rebound, that is awesome."
Him: Insert more yelling, and bad words. Oh don't forget the name calling.
Me: Two can play at that game. insert more bad words, yelling and yes even name calling
Then he hung up.

1 minute later the phone rings.
Me: "WHAT?"
Him: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I don't want to fight, I don't care anymore. If you could please take care of the bill, I would appreciate it."
Me: "Why didn't you just ask like that in the first place. OK I will do what I can."
Him: "Thank you. This is why we aren't together. You pooped on me for 8 months, I couldn't take it anymore."
Me: "Really? No Really? I pooped on you? Well it goes both ways."
Him; "I'm not perfect."
Me: "Nope, no one is."
Me: "Are you happy? Really happy?"
Him: "Yeah I am."
Me: "Good. I want that for you. I really do. I also wish we could be civil and friendly."
Him: "I can never be your friend. Maybe in 10 years, but I just can't stand you."
Me: "Oh, that's too bad. Good luck with things."
Him: "yeah, have a nice life."



Needless to say I was 21 different shades of upset by this. And by upset I mean pissed.
He was supposed to make one call for me and he couldn't. But he could call me to yell? UM No that's not cool. Also it really bothered me that he could move on so quickly and be all "in loooove". It hasn't even been a month since things were finalized.
Finally I fell asleep, after I thought and thought and brooded and cried. I fell asleep.

Yesterday I was doing somewhat better.
That is until I found out whom this bright new girlfriend is....
I won't say names.
However this girl is a senior in high school.
Say it with me.... Ahhh WHAT??
yeah you heard me. A senior.

After I found this out I was seething. I was burning with anger.
He always told me I was so immature, not mature enough for kids, blah blah blah.
And he does this??
Well long story short....
I was mad, really really mad.
But the anger ran it's course. And I'm not mad anymore.
I really don't care anymore.
I can laugh about it now.
Later that night, I was told he called a mutual friend to tell them "She might call you and tell you I was mean to her, but I wasn't."
I laughed..... Really? And I'm too immature?

Right now at this moment I'm glad.
I'm glad it happened, and I'm glad I was told.
It gave me that extra push.
It forced me to get so mad and to let my anger run out.
It pushed me to let go.

Does this mean I'm immune to him? Probably not.
Will I have some lapses and maybe get sad.... sure that is normal.

Yesterday though I did something I haven't been able to do.
I deleted pictures, and text messages. I threw out some of his stuff I just couldn't before.
And I also joined face book. Before I didn't because I didn't want to "run into" him, but that thought doesn't really bother me.

He was a part of my past, and he always will be. He is no longer a part of my future.
I'm going to stop trying to walk forward while looking behind me. I'm looking forward from now on.

For once I feel at peace.
I must say it is an awesome feeling.