Be careful what you ask for

I asked to be left alone.
I wanted to avoid going over and over our divorce.

I got what I asked for.

He deleted his myspace account.
I know it's dumb, and that our myspace friendship didn't mean we were getting along, or ever getting back together.

But it was a comfort to see him in my top whatever everyday.
It was a glimpse of him everyday, a stupid little comfort that I had.
I liked to look at his page and see me still on his top friends, another dumb little comfort.

I liked that he still had pictures of us up, yet again a dumb empty comfort.

So today when I didn't see him, I realized how much I looked forward to seeing him everyday.
I actually had a lot riding on those dumb empty comfort's.

Maybe it's just been the last couple of days, they have been hard.
2 calls from him, they never go well.
2 calls from family, delivering unplesant news.
2 rumor's running around town about me.

All of that alone has been overwhelming.
This today made it too much.

I'm glad to be going home for the weekend. I need to get away. I need a break.
I need to pull the covers over my head and sleep it away.

Monday I promise not to be so pathetic anymore.