Thursday, October 22, 2009

explain something you don't understand

Some things in life elude us.
The reasoning behind why things happen.
Why things fall the way they do.

Try as I might, I just can't seem to let this one thing go.

Why does he have to call and say the things he does?
I don't mind talking in a normal matter.
I actually like hearing his voice, when it's friendly. It's a nice reminder of why I loved him.

The calls I get however are not for talking.
They are for hurting, and I don't know why.
Why do you call me just to re-hash everything?
Why do you want to go through a divorce every time?

Why do you want to make me cry?

I don't understand it. I don't know how he does it.
I don't hate him.
I would still give him anything.
I still love him.

I can't see the reason or the purpose to call someone who used to be everything to you, just to rip open the old hurt. Just to get a reaction, just to know that you can still hurt them.

I'm not saying I have never made a mistake, I have made many.
I have said hurtful things. I have made him cry.
I still feel horrible for each and everyone of those things that I did.
But I don't call him just to stab the knife home again and again.
I don't call him to place the blame on his shoulders.

I don't understand it.

I wish he could let it go. Let us both move on.

2 comments:

Dawn said...

Why? Because he's an asshole. The solution? Stop answering the phone.

Rene said...

I agree with Dawn. Don't answer his call, let him leave a message, if it is a good enough reason to call him back then do so!