Mucinex

I have smokers cough.
If you know me, you know I'm very adamant about NOT smoking.
But why do you ask, do I have smokers cough?

Well, let me explain in 3 easy explanations!

1. I caught a cold from my volleyball girls (I'm convinced they are trying to kill me through torturous colds)
2. In the process of being sick, I accumulated TONS and TONS of mucus crap in my lungs, throat, nose, etc. (I'm producing human lube.....EW, I just had a mental picture, I may vomit. Can you imagine if our world was forced to use mucus yellow lube? SICK SICK SICK)
3. I now have a cough, this cough sounds horrible. Every time I cough, breath or talk you can hear the wheezing and all that flem trying to make it's way out of my body. I have been like this for about a week now and I'm convinced people look at me and think: "Wow, she is so young, and she already has smoker's cough. I bet she regrets ever smoking in the first place." Oh, if they only knew.

The first thing I did this morning is went to the store and invested in Mucinex DM (you know those commercials, the little green guy who is human mucus living in your lungs and getting upset for being coughed out)
Hopefully this stuff saves me from this mucus hell. I fear I've already forgotten what it's like to have a full deep breath where you receive enough oxygen to suffice your bodily needs.

I do a gasping thing. Like a fish out of water with a bad cough who sounds like the next time it coughs a lung, or maybe a kidney will come out and land on the ground.

I have to get rid of this by next week on Sunday, hunting season starts and if I can't breathe I won't be a very effective hunter. The animals will be able to hear me coming, my wheezing will give me away every time!

Here is a quick story to explain. Yesterday Ryan and I went Coyote hunting, it's actually fun if you get coyotes to come in. Yesterday the only thing we called in were heifer cows, I'm sure they were thinking "What the hell are these two clowns doing?" It was funny and I tried to laugh, but ended up with a coughing attach. Anyways, while hunting you have to be quiet. Especially me, I married a full blown hunting addict, which is cool cause I like it too. But unlike my husband I can't suppress the urge to pee, cough, blow my nose, etc. This drives him crazy.
Just picture it. Ryan and I are sitting on the ground by the fence, the coyote call is going off. Then everything is quiet, we sit and wait to see any movement ready at any time to pull the trigger.

Then it happens, I can't help it, but I start coughing and coughing. Now I have crap in my mouth and I refuse to swallow it. So I spit it out, I'm not very good at this and do it like a little kid still. I make the spitting noise and most of the time I have some dribbled down my chin.
Once I'm finished with my coughing and spitting routine, I look over at my husband. And I get the look, you know that look where you think he's angry, but looks so funny you start laughing anyways. This of course starts me coughing again.
I'm sure you get the picture. It's no wonder the only thing to come in to us were cows.