for the records

No crying = fail

This morning was though
The afternoon was better
Tonight was a lost cause.
I started thinking...

September 15th 2007
Our wedding date. Oh how I cherish those happy memories, that night, the next morning. Saying my vows that I thought we would both live by forever.
Waking up the next morning to my husband.
Being thrilled over our future and all the things we would do and accomplish together.
Dreaming of our future. Thought we had so much to look forward to.

September 15th 2008
Feeling happy we made it a year. Wanting to experience many more. Looking forward to kids, to being happy. To always have each other.
Already thinking ahead to next year, dreaming more about our future.
Feeling safe, feeling loved, feeling like I had a spot in his heart.

September 15th 2009
Feeling so alone, so sad.
Thinking back to all the things we had, what could have been.
Saying goodbye. Letting go of dreams and hopes.
Thinking, how does one's life change so much in the course of 2 years.
Praying I could go back, could have just one more day, another chance.
Feeling empty.

I can't take it anymore. I quit.

I spoke to a friend that knows us both.
He is trying to move on, he is on the right path to do so.
I feel like My World just ended.

I am never ever going through this again.
I'm never going to let another person get close enough to hurt me this much ever again.
I am done.