Please. Just Humor Me.

Okay seriously I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I'm sitting at my desk crying.I'm a loser and I need to find myself a life! But just read it and see if you can keep from laughing! Enjoy!

Dear Dawn,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our affair is over. I think I realized it When I quoted Forest Gump In your car and I saw you Sitting on The Montreal Canadians goalie. I'm sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That I may pee my pants. I'm returning Your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep The oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I Told in my confession today about the moose poaching and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.

You should get that embarrassing rash checked,
Christine



Pick a friend, any friend.
Answer the following questions and fill in the answers into the fun paragraph below.
Then repost it.Have fun!!

Dear _______,
I don't really know how to tell you this, ___1____. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ and ___11___.

_____12_____,




1.What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'm joining the Convent
Black - I dislike your eyelashes
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other - I'm in love with your cat


2.Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - Last year when you peed your pants
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on the little dog
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - When I quoted Forest Gump
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3.Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Christien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light


4.What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put whipped cream on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sitting on
Other - Drive over


5.What's the color of your underwear?
Green - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Black - Your My Little Pony collection
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - The Montreal Canadian's goalie
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner

6.What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C- Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Sly
Simpsons - cowardly
Grey's Anatomy - Scarred
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - Ashamed

7.Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Confused- That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That were related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Bored- That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumbass
Other - That your driving sucks

8.What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White -Your Back Street Boys blanket
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - Your Elton John poster
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from Vegas
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your toe ring
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your car

9.The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
C/D - The oil tank from your car
E/F - Your neighbor's dog
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of that blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your love letters
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your glass eye
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10.The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Mocked you constantly behind your back
E/F - Always wanted to break your legs
G/H - Hate your cooking
I/J - Never will forget that night
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z - Am better off without you

11.What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship is ruined
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Flavored water - I'm off to lead a new life as a nun
Soda - I will haunt you when I'm incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Wine -Thanks for the Cocaine
Cider - I have a passionate interest for men
Juice - I love Oprah Winfrey
Mineral water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Diet Soda - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Other - I'm scratching my ass as you read this

12.To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm tingly sensations
Italy - Best of luck on the sex-change
England - Kiss my ass
Spain - Go drown yourself
China - You make me sick
Germany - Go milk a cow
Japan - Please don't hurt me
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia -You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Egypt - Good luck in jail
France - With tears of sadness

Now, FILL IT IN ..