Part 2

Where did I leave off?

Oh yes the nudist... I remember.

We were all crammed on a school bus, we could hardly sit comfortable due to the amount of restricted clothing we were wearing. Our main instructor was standing at the front introducing the other instructors.
She began with herself "Hi, my name is June (not really but you know.) I'm a kindergarten teacher at Big Sky."
"Next we have Sam, who is a bull rider and a total bad ass"
"Then there is Richard" I can't remember what she said about him. Sorry Richard.
"We can't forget about all the way Dave, he really doesn't need any intro if you ride his boat you will understand."
"Last but not least we have Chance, a nudist. He would rather ride the rapids naked he said it gives the cheeks good color."

By this time we had reached our destination. We were given paddles and told to check each other's gear one last time.
Then it came time for June to make her last speech. This speech included what commands would be given and what they mean, how to pull someone back in the boat, how to hold the paddle, how to react when we are told high side, etc.
What really caught my attention was when June said, "Please be aware you could die, there is a high risk but we will take all precautions to see this does not happen."
I laughed and then immediately chocked when I realized she wasn't kidding. June was dead serious.

Next we were divided into groups of 5 and given an instructor and a boat.
Our instructor was Chance the Nudist. Luckily for this special day he decided to wear clothes.

He said "Hi" and told us to "Jump in the boat" We all got in and did what normal people did, we sat in the very middle of each row getting as far away from the water as possible.
Chance told us to "Scoot to the very edge of the outside, you can paddle better this way." I looked at him as if he was a crazy nudist, but I did what I was told. I was the adult here and had to listen to the rules. Or at least try too.

We were all seated the proper way and Chance pushed us off the shore and swam behind us in the boat. Yes SWAM behind us, I wanted to hit him or yell at him to get his crazy nudist butt back in the boat and be our instructor, we are on a white water rapid river and need instructions! (I was kinda nervous in the beginning can you tell? No, oh good. I was trying to act like the adult here.)

Chance jumped in the boat and told us to paddle. That we needed to synchronize paddle because we were a team and needed to work together!
It was then that one of the Senior boys in my boat told us we should "Polar Bear" it and jump in. I immediately tried to burn him with my eyes. Then I explained in the most adult way no thank you, I would not be participating in that game.
I think I said "Um, you touch me with the intentions of getting me in the water, I will take you and this ENTIRE boat down with me. Do you get it???" "The water is cold and I do not wish to Polar Bear it, I don't do so well when I'm cold. I get crabby and I may injury you."

I think he got the point, he looked at me as if I would grow fangs and suck his blood right there. This made the instructor Chance laugh. I don't know why, I wasn't kidding at all.

This of course did not stop me from daring the senior boy to jump in, I like to laugh at what people will do on a dare. He jumped in and jumped right back out, his eyes were huge from coldness shock. I just laughed at him, Don't worry I used my adult laugh, not the "I can't believe you are stupid enough to do that" laugh.

We were well on our way down the river, we were all paddling at the same time, looking around enjoying the sun on our face. It was then at this time that Chance said, "well we are through all the easy boring stuff and we will get to some quicker water, but really we will just be dodging rocks."
"Before we get there lets get in a water fight? Shall we?"
"Everyone lets paddle"

Before I knew it we had paddled up to the next boat and the senior boys (there were 2) began splashing the boat with their paddles, this of course cause the other boat to retaliate.... And guess what sat between the senior boys and the other boat?

ME.

They drenched me. Did you know when you wear a wet suit, you can still feel the coldness of the water and the wet suit holds water. I was cold, wet and felt like I had peed my pants, and we just got started. I had to sit in wetness all day. So not cool.

I didn't really have time to stew and plan my revenge because we were told to paddle, and back paddle and right side paddle, left side back paddle.
The water was getting faster and the rocks were getting bigger. We made it through with ease because really our boat was pretty cool.
Chance thought so too, when we were to calm water he gave us a group "Paddle High Five" and then slapped the water with his paddle making a slapping sound. We all felt so cool and like white water rapid professionals!

He told us to look up river, and what did we see? A different boat from our group was stuck on a rock, and they were screaming and paddles were going everywhere. It was pretty funny. Don't worry no one was hurt and a boat behind them gave them the push they needed to get off the rock.

We were so cool, we decided we needed a name for our boat and our team. After hearing a couple stories about naked runs we chose the name "Naked Babe Runners." "NBR" for short. Each time we made it through something cool or we were bored someone would scream "WOOOOO NBR" "WWWOOOOO" And then we would paddle high five in the middle and hit the water with our paddles. (This is something only cool boats were allowed to do.)

Oh I just remembered, one of the senior boys told the instructor Chance, I was the class valedictorian. He believed it, I told him "No, I'm actually 24 and am supposed to be the boat adult" Chance laughed at me, he thought I was full of poop. I still think he believes me to be in high school, I should send a copy of my drivers license or birth certificate.

Anyways, we came to calm water and all the boats were pulling up to shore. It was time for lunch! Yes, I was so hungry. We ate sandwiches and pasta salad and baked goods. I had a brownie and I stole a pecan pie square, it was delish! (I ate to much, they had to loosen my life jacket I couldn't buckle it anymore...oops! But I told myself, this could be my last meal, I could die and I would rather die having indulged on a brownie and pecan pie.)

Back in the boat we go, by this time we were all pretty cold. Our hands were numb, our wet suits were.... well wet, our feet were about frozen. Chance told us we could all random paddle to get warmed up.... it kinda worked.

Before we knew it we were ready to go down the dreaded "Mile" I guess it's like deadly or something. Chance gave us all a pep talk and told us to just listen and we would do great. I was excited, nervous and a little scared and really cold. But there was no turning back now.

Commands were being tossed around like they were going out of style. "Paddle twice forward" "Left side back paddle once" "We need to dodge this big rock up here, or we will flip"
"Paddle forward twice" "Okay two more times"
I look up and we are speeding by a huge boulder, this rock was so big I wanted to cry. But before I knew it we passed it and did a "NBR WOOO" High five. I thought "Whew we made it, I'm still alive. I might have peed my pants but it's okay I'm wearing a wet suit, they won't notice. And if they do I'll just blame it on the boy in front of me."

During the Mile, you forgot about the cold, you forgot about your frozen appendages and you just listened to the commands and you felt the rush. It was extreme in one word it was "awesome."

We floated for another 2 1/2 miles before we were finished. It was during this time we passed the Brad Pitt rock. It was at that time that Brad Pitt's soul and mine were burned together forever. My life will never be the same again.

When we were unloading, our instructor Chance told us girls that he really wasn't a nudist and he went to school for physical therapy. I felt so lied too, it was all a lie, I didn't even know who he was and I trusted him with my life?? He just laughed it off, and in the end we did too. We were just happy to get out of the water.

We all climbed back on the warm heated bus, you could hear the sigh of relief when we began to feel our fingers and toes again. We made it.

We got back to the lodge and had to undress.
"Take off the booties, empty the water out and toss them in the bucket"
"Put your helmet's in the bin"
"Put your life jackets on the line"
"Please hang up the jackets and the wet suits inside out to dry"

They didn't mention how hard it was going to be to peel the wet suit off your body.
All you could do was un-velcro and un-button your self and someone would grab the suit and pull down and hard as they could.

"Ahhh, yes! I can breathe again."

Everyone finished dressing and blessed the lord for warm dry clothes.
I drank a tall glass of hot chocolate.
We got on the bus and I fell asleep.
We got to Famous Dave's, I woke up and ran into the restaurant.
We all ordered, got our food and ate way too much.
My stomach still hurt yesterday morning from all the food I had eaten.
Oh but it was so worth it. Because I almost died yesterday and this was a celebration feast. We were all celebrating our survival.

And that is my experience this past weekend. It was up it was down it was even sideways, but overall it was a blast.