This is normal right?

I have a problem. It's a very serious problem. I've had this problem for years and years.

My current problem:

Ryan and I have bought a pig to go to the butcher. So we may fill our freezer with yummy bacon and pork chops.
Some of my family members have also decided to buy pigs.
Right now they are at my house in a trailer, waiting for their final hours to pass.

My problem? I am soft at heart, especially when it comes to animals.
I can never be one of those people that raises an animal, gives it a name and then eats it.
All I would ever see on my plate is poor "Wilbur" and I can't eat my pets face. It just isn't happening.
So what did I do? I looked at the little (well they really aren't little) pigs in the trailer.
And that's where I went wrong. They look like pets with sad eyes. I already feel guilty.
I told my Mom and you know what she said? "Don't you open that trailer door!"
(I'm that girl that always brings home lost kittens, abandoned baby birds, starving puppies. I don't know how many times I got in trouble for bringing home and hiding in my room litter's of kittens.)
I'm trying to be tough and think of them as food, but I just can't help it.

They go in today at noon. I'm at work, trying not to think about it. I'm repeating in my head "Bacon, bacon, bacon." "Pork chops, pork chops, pork chops."

I will be strong, I will be strong.


On a happier subject. The first day of "Official" Basketball practice starts today. (Please light a candle for me) For some reason I'm anxious to coach basketball.

On a partly gruesome note, I'm glad I'm not a cow. To be more specific, I'm glad I'm not an older female cow.
Why? (and I'm sorry in advance) We had to pull a calf out of an older cow, and we found the feet, put the chain on and went to grab the jack. That's when it happened. It, was the sucking sound coming from the older cow's hoo haw. It was more powerful sounding then a Dyson Vacuum. It sucked that calves legs right back in. But that noise, the horrible farting/ sucking noise will stay with me forever.

This just in: I am looking out my window at work and the buffalo are stampeding. They are going wild. I'm glad I'm in the office. Plus if you want me to eat the buffalo my contact with them has to be minimal or I may try to make a pet of them and name it "Betty"
I think I have problems.